For Xue Jing, 1991-2025
Because you loved freedom more than the world
You are once again a free-flowing soul, moving between lives —
From sins of the family, and curses for daughters
— To make forgiveness possible
Yesterday we were four children under the South Asian sky
Searching for the Big Dipper
I wanted to be an artist, you said, and I a physicist
Tonight in the Bay Area I saw the Dipper again
I knew nothing is lost —
Your dream is safe with me; I am the part of you that survived
And I finally learned peace in the chaos we shared
“Then I saw a new heaven and new earth, for the first heaven and first earth had passed away.¹”
And I saw New Eden.
Good night, my sister
Farewell and godspeed
⁎⁎⁎
The night my sister died, I stood in my backyard. In the distance, I heard the traffic on Highway 101, and the sound of planes heading toward San Francisco Airport. There wasn't a moon, but the sky was clear. I could see six stars out of seven that made up the Big Dipper. And I knew that despite the loss of what could have been, the joy and sorrow we had shared in this life are eternal. I found eternity in every moment of being.
¹Rev. 21:1–5 (KJV).